I hate it and love it all at the same time. It’s great to seem the financial award for the work my husband and I do over two weeks but to watch that number dwindle from almost $1000 combined to a little under $300 after bills.
I know having extra money at the end or money at all is what some people would kill for. I am by no means saying I want more or that I don’t appreciate it. I appreciate money for the fact that I have a roof over my head, I eat every day (sometimes too much) and I have certain luxuries that I honestly do not need because of the work we do and the money that comes with it.
But when money controls what I am able to eat or if my husband can go out and see just a movie together on the $5 night or if I can pay for my prescriptions or even if I can pay my bills in general, it’s very restrictive. And it’s in these times that I wonder these things: Why did I go to school and not even use the degrees I have but I have the student loans? Why did I get credit cards and almost max them out? Why don’t I get another part time job? Why don’t I write more so that I can become successful at something I’ve been told I’m good at that could have multiple levels of success? How are we going to afford having a family and providing more for our children?