Yesterday, I had my hair trimmed up and my hairdresser mentioned to another hairdresser about how she felt when she was on Clomid. Hearing the word Clomid and talking to her about her struggle with infertility was actually quite comforting and even informative.
She herself already had one child when she was married for a year at the age of 19 without any complications or struggle to conceive but shortly after when she got pregnant with her second, she miscarried early while her other friends were pregnant. She talked about honestly hating them for it as they were due when she would have been and that it was okay to hate all of them and even dislike those that bombard me with statements like “when are you going to have a baby”, “have you tried adoption”, or “you don’t have much time” regardless of whether they are friends or family. It took her 8 years, 2 rounds of Clomid mixed with all the other things she could try and currently she has a 5 month old. Her friends had dealt with similar issues and one such friend was now pregnant with her first at 38 and even seeing the same doctor as I am.
It was really nice talking to someone who had personally understood the struggle even though she already had a child. She herself had multiple miscarriages over the 8 years which of course made her very nervous. So far the only things that comforted me was the blogs and information I’ve read online and the fact that according to other tests, my tubes weren’t blocked, I have no cysts and my husband’s swimmers are normal. Even knowing that my insulin is high and being on Metformin is comforting because at least it is an answer to the questions I’ve had.